I have this very sick feeling in the pit of stomach. It is too strong to ignore. I have repeatedly asked the husband if everything is alright and he has stuck to the stock answer of “he’s just tired.”
This weight of uncertainty is growing and I don’t know what to do. I don’t imagine he’s read my blog, he stopped doing that kind of stuff years ago. Even if he had, I’ve re-read it a couple times since my sick feeling began and I don’t think it had any kind of meaning other than what I intended.
Maybe he’s upset that I went out drinking on a work night.
Cutting the bull shit, the sick feeling is that it’s over. However I have had this feeling multiple times, with both. And neither time came to fruition. This time feels different though. He acted so out of character this morning. And even when I sent a text he took an extremely long time to read the thing, and even then the bubble was up for a very long time before he finally sent the above mentioned response. Did he write this long reply and then decide, “no, I’m not going to do it right now.” It would be just like him to keep it close to the chest until after I get off work or even after the football game tonight. (Our niece might win homecoming queen.)
Maybe, like my other post, it is just linked to the panic from seeing what’s happening around me and thinking I too am in this. (I need to find the term for this.)