As most know, I am a sucker for competition. Especially one wherein the stories are messy and hurriedly conceived. It flexes my imagination muscle. Keeps me on my toes. The only issue I seem to run into is that when it comes to the NYC Midnight competitions I am a doomed to the Sci-Fi trenches. This is the one genre I fail, miserably. I don’t read it, I don’t write. With the exception of some of my “world building” backstory for my WIP, I use it more as a plot device than the genre.

Of the 8 or so competitions I have competed, half of them were Science Fiction. I attempted, but I never got a high score. (Maybe it was me getting in my head.) Luckily, with the Flash Fiction challenges, they combine the scores for Challenges 1 & 2 to determine who goes on to the penultimate heat.

How the competition works is a contestant is assigned a genre, a location, and an item. The item can be pivotal to the plot or not. Regardless of it’s use, it MUST physically exist within the story. The word limit is 1000. With these parameters, writer’s are tasked with penning a story within 48 hours. Those who place 1st through 15th are given a score from 1-15. Those who have collected a score of 15 or higher move on to the next round.

The story below was from the first challenge. I was placed in “Group 23” which specified: genre – Sci-Fi, location – a writing retreat, and object – a spork. My entry placed 9th, which I took as a win because ( i realized after submission) I failed to have the object physically appear in the story. (Womp-womp.) That’s what I should expect for waiting until the 46th hour to write it. However, I still earned myself 7 points. So! For me to advance, I need to score 8th place or higher in Challenge 2. Fingers crossed! (I submitted it last Sunday.)

I have included the judges notes after my submission.

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“Artificial Originality” by J.R. Hensley –    

The bubble light in the center of the ceiling turned on with a ‘ping’ as the white, circular room whirred to life. The seven screens curved forward along the contour of the walls flickered on, flashing a series of nature vistas taken from the Global Databank. 

Two auto doors hissed open, and in walked a mechanical skeleton with an oval-shaped screen where a face should be. On the vibrant LED was the expressionless, unblinking photo of a man’s face. If organic life-forms were to gaze upon his tanned, unblemished complexion, one would have assumed he was a businessman in his mid-forties. The bare bones bot, also known as the 3B unit, stepped stiffly past the rectangular table beneath the light and to the curved dais that consumed one side of the room. He climbed the three steps on the right side, crossed to the middle, and faced forward. 

The photo on his display screen flickered and changed to that same man’s face but with a forced smile.  

The screens along the walls settled on a single scene, depicting the panoramic view of a wooded resort, complete with log cabins and a rippling lake.  

The double doors were bisected, and eight skeletal bots, in varying degrees of build and dress, entered the room in a single file line. Each eye-level screen displayed similar, disinterested expressions, except for the unit that appeared to be constructed of PVC pipe and wires. The image on his facial display was a white screen with an imprisoned red x. 

The bots walked the length of the rectangular table and then turned to face the lone mech on the dais.  

For a moment, there was silence. Then, with a soft chime echoing through the room, the eight faces flickered to forced smiles, except for the seventh. It flickered only to reveal the same image.  

“Welcome A.I. bots to the centennial ‘Cyrano Summit of 2142.'” the A.I. robot spoke from a speaker at the bottom of his screen in the voice of a generations passed celebrity, Morgan Freeman. “I remind my comrades that this is a competitive retreat for the assemblage of words to form a cohesive fictional narrative. There are three attempts per subject to eliminate inferior candidates. The superior executed submission will be awarded film deals for each entry and global distribution of the A.I.’s competitive product. Does that compute?” 

Each mech sounded their comprehension with a chorus of notes and voices. 

“Each competitor may use any source of data accumulation to produce their narrative. The only limitations are: length, minimal content overlap with other competitors, and it must include the parameters of the provided prompt. 

“Move into your seated positions.” 

The soft creaks and whirs of gears filled the room as the bots moved their frames into seated poses beneath the table’s surface. No chairs were required. 

“Each competitor must state what data source they will use to compose these submissions.” 

The 3B unit held his left arm to the right end of the table. 

In the voice of decades-deceased Scarlett Johansen, the bot said, “I shall use databank 1043, containing all social media posts of citizens pre-globalization.” 

“That is satisfactory,” the 3B unit replied. His joints creaked as he gestured to the next. 

Each A.I. bot followed suit and declared their chosen data. Competitors two, five, and eight chose the same databank containing classic literature before the turn of the millennia. 

Each bot extended its right arm and plugged into the ports on the table’s surface to download their stated information.  

“Round 1,” 3B said when each status bar glowed blue, “You must write a narrative to include a spy in a mini-van, with a spork as his only weapon. Commence!” 

Three agonizing seconds lapsed, and the white room filled with red light. A single trumpet blast sounded, and then all returned to how it had been. 

“Please upload your submissions for analysis.” 

The eight bots provided their pieces, which were immediately analyzed by the computer housed in the table. Their results were then displayed as holograms before them. As any would have surmised from their chosen databanks, contestants two and five had eighty percent shared words. Their hologram results flashed red, and they were eliminated. Competitor eight came dangerously close with a seventy-nine percent overlap. However, their odds for a win rose with his competition out of the way. 

“Round 2!” 3B stated, “You must write a narrative to include a disabled child in a motorboat on a lake of fire.” 

The next three seconds ticked by, and the room flashed crimson again. 

Contestants one, three, and six shared too much in their narrative. With a ninety-five percent match, despite having contrasting databanks, they were removed from the competition. 

“Final round!” 3B stated. 

All that remained were four, seven, and eight. With four and eight having the statistical edge, seven (who had chosen the databank Wikipedia) was the competition’s underdog. 

“Write a narrative to include an economic boom, a unicorn, and an overwhelming homoerotic subtext.” 

The next three seconds ticked by. 

The room went scarlet. 

The trumpet sounded. 

“Please upload your stories for final review.” 

The hologram results glowed before each A.I., shining across the bots’ facial screens’ surface, disfiguring the photographs or illuminating the lack of one.  

“Congratu—” 3B began. 

The double doors hissed open, and a pudgy organic life-form with a sparse beard and bald head strolled in.  

“What the hell? Why must they do this,” he said to no one specifically, “Just use all of them. Who cares anymore? Do you think we’re looking for the notes of our shared human experience or something? Shut it down.” 

The lights dimmed, and the bots rose from their poses, except contestant 7, whose camera looked joyfully at the hologram results shimmering in gold. 

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WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY –

{1689}  Terrific opening as we see the Bots enter the Contest Arena—all looking very much alike—except for Seven. Wonderful tension and details through the competition sequence—like the Celebrity Voices and the fact it only takes 3 seconds for the writing to occur. Strong turn when the Organic Life Form rushes in and shuts it all down—but can’t stop Seven from enjoying a moment of glory.  

{2433}  The exploration of AI in a futurist context is a fascinating one, especially given recent sociocultural recent events surrounding the evolution of the technology, 

{2355}  I enjoy your writing and world-building. The prose was clean but vivid and funny. This is an exceptionally creative story, very neatly presented, and the pacing is great.  

WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK –

{1689}  Terrific characterizations and premise. Here are some ideas to explore. ONE –Your story is working really well. So don’t change anything that you don’t feel deeply inspired to change. TWO—Look for a stronger more specific reason that Seven is different. THREE—Make the contest matter more—to the society and to Seven. Communicate this through the choice of prompts—relate those prompts deeply to the story, theme, and character of Cyrano. I love the Organic Being’s question, but I am not sure you have time for it—unless it sheds light on the purpose and meaning of this contest. Keep working on it. Good luck.  

{2433}  There are a few instances within the text where details and actions are arguably over-described, which can potentially cause the narrative flow to stumble. For example, the statement, “The seven screens curved forward along the contour of the walls flickered on…” While it can be assumed that this description indicates a collection of screen around the room turning on, the use of the phrasing “curved forward along the contour” can initially seem as if it is describing physical motion, rather than just the screens on the wall turning on. Making the prose slightly more direct (for example: “Seven screens, contoured to the walls, flickered on…”, or something roughly equivalent) can allow the reader to remain immersed in what is being described without sacrificing the the tone and character of the prose. 

{2355}  I wish we’d had a bit more time for more of the stories! I think shaving off just a little bit of exposition and buildup would leave room for some of the AI’s entries later on in the story.