I don’t understand, why am I drawn to social media? I will spend hours perusing the countless posts of the horrific bullshit that is going on across the globe. No matter how upsetting all of it is I cannot look away. It’s maddening. Especially so because I cannot do one fucking thing to change it. Not a one. Me posting some funny (misspelled) quip or reposting someone else’s well written one will not do one goddamn thing. Maybe, MAYBE change someone’s mind, but other than that… not a thing.

Yet I scroll on.

Why did the world decide to take a massive dump? I feel especially screwed because during a pandemic people refused to treat as such, my mother was deteriorating mentally with Alzheimer’s and my husband was diagnosed with ALS. At that time people were getting checks mailed to their house from the government to supplement their income, due to lack of work, whereas I was making the most money I have ever made in my entire life. Now after all the free cash, and a drastic uptick of interest rates I am lucky if I get more than 5 jobs a month. Where’s my handouts?

Now with the final death coming up the walkway toward me, the world has to go and get itself into war. Like… can’t I catch one fucking break? Jesus.

I just want to fucking scream. Most of the time I’m doing it in my head behind a forced smile.

The thing that makes me the most angry is it’s just gonna get fucking worse. It’ll never let up. Never once in my lifetime. Maybe my niece’s and nephew’s time.