It’s so wonderful being alive for the end of the United States. Genuinely. It’s been quite the treat. I always was curious how Germany could go from a republic into a fascist regime that killed people… yet here we are! It was for the price of eggs! Even after he has said the most horrific shit, ON TAPE, people still chose the felon over the prosecutor. Heard ya America. Heard. Ya.

My original plan was to immediately list the house for sale and get the fuck out of here. But my brother has killed that because I cannot leave the people I love behind. I know charlie would want me to take care of him so… I’m bound by some ridiculous sense of duty. Fuck!

I genuinely cannot wait for him to implement everything they want. That’s not sarcasm. I want them to make everyone’s lives fucking miserable. I cannot wait for it. It’s going to be fucking epic. And if they get to a point where they criminalize me or put me in a camp… I am very prepared to die. That isn’t hyperbole. Last night I thought about taking an entire bottle of pills but stopped myself for a few reasons. One being that I would not want to traumatize my brother. It’s just not in me to lay that level of emotional burden on someone else. The other being that I know my husband would be angry with me if I did. He explicitly told me he wanted me to keep living. Have a wonderful life. And in doing so I would be breaking his only request.

So here I am, accepting the things I cannot change and willing the courage in me to change the things I can. I don’t know what tomorrow will look like but I am enthusiastic that it will be something that will hurt everyone. And I get to sit there with my mock shock and go “who could have predicted this?” Or my favorite: “Schucks. That sucks. Bummer.”

Everything that will transpire will not touch me. Everything detailed in project 2025 doesn’t affect me. So let it all fucking burn. Take away the epa, the department of education, take away every bit of women’s rights. Do it all. And if I wind up dead… just know I accepted my death with open arms. Once again I get to be with my husband, wherever that may be. And I will truly be at peace.