For reasons I cannot explain I am searching for a faith. Being raised Christian I cannot and will not return to it, due to those that use it in the name of cruelty. For a brief moment I researched Druidism but found that my preconceived notions of it were all wrong. Basically it was a rehash of Wiccan and that is most certainly not for me. Now I am looking into Buddhism by way of a book titled “The Dharma of Star Wars.”
My husbands scoffs that it’s a joke and I shouldn’t be choosing a faith off of a fictitious group of people. While he is right he is also wrong. What the book does is give comparisons to create understanding for a faith that may be difficult to understand. So far I am intrigued and while I love Star Wars (a lot, btw) this dude overused the examples to a degree that I would rather him just discuss the theories and beliefs of Buddhism. It’s a fun read and only reaffirms my desire to investigate it further.
I think my desire for faith comes from the step I am currently working on in sex addicts anonymous. I’m currently on 2 and have been there for some time. It’s the one where you find a higher power. Like I said previously Christianity left a sour taste in my mouth and I will never return. Along with the faith is the Christian God. The lack of any real higher power working more closely with the world proves to me that there isn’t one. However to continue in the program I need a higher power. For lack of one I have chosen the energy of the earth/universe/life that is a form far beyond my comprehension that doesn’t deal with man directly because we do not operate on the same level. After doing the worksheet my sponsor gave me I came to this very conclusion. To further the distance between the higher power of my understanding and the God of my youth, I think the higher power I’ve chosen has no form or gender. It is everything and everywhere. Jokingly I refer to it as “the force” because that’s what it feels like I am describing. That is why I think I am drawn to Buddhism and discovering the book only reaffirms that notion.