Faithful Musings

I know that I will not offer up any new insight into religion. More than likely most of my views have been gathered by others around me. What I can say in regards to religion is from my own perspective of having grown up in a deeply religious household, in addition to attending Christian school from pre-k to 8th grade. 

Through all that time I can tell you that religion does not make people good. On the contrary most of the people I have encountered in the faith are cold, cruel, and heartless unless it directly benefits them. There have been a few that exhibited what it is to be a “Christian” but they are few and far between. Primarily what I witnessed was “oh you’re not in our faith? You don’t go to our church? Then sorry. Not my problem.” Also, if someone wasn’t attractive or thin they weren’t wanted. 

My worst nightmares from church were the moments when the pastor had everyone in the congregation stand up and greet their neighbor. I hated it because most people didn’t say anything to my parents or myself. No one was ever friendly. They were doing it because the man in the suit told them too. Which is hilarious because that is the summation of what faith is. 

At one point faith was created as a way to explain the things that didn’t have a basic answer. It was man trying to understand all that was around them. Science has done away with the mystical powers. That’s why any scientific thought was considered heracy. It made man begin to question the world around them and as one of my heroes, Jim Jefferies, says is nothing is more toxic to religion than questions. 

With science the reason for even having faith, other than getting sky cake when we die (thanks Patton Oswalt), was to tell people how to be good and not be sinners. The strangest part about that is I have seen more hatred in the name of faith than anything else. At least if an atheist does something cruel we all just know he’s an asshole. When someone of faith does it they rationalize it and try to justify their actions with this made up bull shit from their respective texts. 

A couple weeks ago a gay couple in Indonesia were sentenced to a public caning for having sex. Now, they were discovered by accident but their punishment was deliberate. A news organization that covered this event interviewed the attendees to see their reaction and one woman, with her head scarf, said that she was glad they did it. That way no one would do it in the future. That statement shows her ignorance like someone would just choose to have sex with someone of the same sex, without any attraction. That’s not how sex works. Or just attraction. If there’s no spark nothing’s happening, you know?

I have gotten to the point where I want all faiths to go away. They really don’t offer anything to society except a reason to be a dick without being labeled one. And my thought is if you have to have some “higher being” tell you to be nice, you’re just not a good person and no amount of prayer will save you. 

When I was younger I prayed every night for god to take away the gay. I didn’t want to be at all. Yet as I got older I realized it wasn’t me that was broken, it was the thought behind that prayer. If god doesn’t make any mistakes then me being gay isn’t one of them. However the faithful work around is that it’s the devil trying to corrupt me. Okay, sure, Mary Beth. I think the real evil was if I had forced myself into a Hererosexual relationship with a woman to please god while all the while having no real attraction for her and lying. More than likely I would not be able to fight the “urges” and I would meet up with a stranger and thus have committed adultery. Then the lying gets stronger. It seems like I’m doing more sinning pretending to be straight than I am just being gay. 

Which brings me to the strangest of my week. I encountered a conservativel, Christian, gay man. The first two statements make sense but the gay part is the one that doesn’t fit. Out of the three that is the one I think is the most honest. The other two need to go because it’s him trying to live up to a standard or expectation that is inauthentic to who he is. And because he’s forcing himself into a mold he does not fit he is a RAGING alcoholic. This dude got so wasted at our game night I couldn’t believe he didn’t pass out. (Not to mention he used the n-word in the way it was originally intended. And that is NOT okay.) 

Religion is truly a harmful thing and is used to control the masses. Anything that forces you to not question anything and expects everyone to follow their faith is a cult. 

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3 thoughts on “Faithful Musings

  1. gregoryjosephs

    I’ve been strangely lucky when it comes to religion. I was born into a Catholic family and made it through my first communion before my mother let my religious education lapse. This was fortunate because by the time I came out in my late teens I didn’t have a lot of hangups about it from christianity, but it took my mother and grandparents a little while.

    Now I’m married to the son of a Lutheran minister, and my father-in-law is extraordinarily open-minded. We go to Christmas services at his small-town Pennsylvania church and no one bats an eye. I think this is definitely the exception and not the rule. Still, I’m grateful. I don’t believe in the same way my father-in-law does, but when I hear his sermons, so full of positivity and light, I am reminded that religion doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

    Sadly though, you hit the nail on the head. Too often it is used as a means of control, and an excuse for people not to think and question. . .

    I’m glad I found your blog. I’ll look forward to reading more.

    -Greg

    • Your story is very similar to my own. When I came out my father couldn’t have cared less, my mother on the other hand… it was eternal damnation. But now she refers to me and my husband as the boys and introduces him to strangers as her son-in-law. The power of love.

      I once dated a boy who’s ambition was to be a priest. He went to an episcopal church and even performed a couple of sermons. I do think that there is something to faith but… there is the ugly side. Unfortunately it is the ugly side that is predominant. Well… definitely the one with the loudest voice.

      • gregoryjosephs

        Yeah, exactly. It’s sad the way the extremists in every group color our perceptions and ruin things for the more reasonable folks.

        Oh well. It’s possible to be spiritual while still remaining open-minded and accepting. Love and exposure are the answers, hand in hand. ☺️

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