Conspiracy theories are easy to believe because they give one the sense of explanation in a situation where there seems like no logical reason for what has occurred. Most are not sounds arguments but they give the believer meaning. I for one am easily susceptible to such wild takes and in knowing that, when I hear such wild reasonings, I tread with caution and asks lots of questions. However if they’re concocted in my own head is another thing entirely.

In the span of a year a slough of neurological disorders have befallen my family. My mother with her Alzheimer’s and my husband with his ALS. My father, prior to his passing, was showing signs of a similar diagnosis to my husband’s, however we never got any concrete tests. He had difficulty getting his legs to move and it was because of that that he fell and hit his head, killing him. His walking had been problematic prior to this though, which we had discovered it was built up fluid on his brain. That had been remedied by a shunt that drained the water into his stomach.

Seeing as how all this happened in such a short time makes me wonder if we had all come into contact with something poisonous enough to initiate all of this. If not, then this is all some highly coincidental shit.

My husband tries to quell the crazy by offering me reason. He wants to know if they’re all affected, why not me? Good question. Maybe it just hasn’t become readily apparent.

I keep searching for answers of when we were all together for this to happen. For a year we had lived with my parents in 2010, while the hubs and I built up enough cash to buy a house. After that the only other time was when we took a trip to Lake Tahoe. It is there that my mind makes a connection, but where we would have been “exposed” is unknown.

Logically I understand that I am just searching for reason in all this chaos. Deep down I know that life is cruel and there is no meaning to what happens. Sometimes things just work like that. I jokingly opine that “life shops at Costco” and we’re going through a jar of pickled herring. (I say that cause that sounds disgusting to me.)

That’s the alluring factor of conspiracy theories, they’re such easy answers for odd questions. And they’re hardly ever reasoned down, especially when the believer believes so strongly because it’s the only explanation for such depressing circumstances.