Mental Sigh

Ugh… I hate re-establishing my anti-depressants. They make me moody as fuck. I go from one extreme to the next and I just want to scream most of the time. And these feelings are made worse when I go on social media and see the state of the world. Can’t one thing go right in my life? Just one? No? My entire life has to be in chaos? Cool.

For the record I didn’t deliberately stop taking my meds, not like all the other times in the past. This was just a glistening example of my overall laziness. I ran out and instead of (doing the adult thing when I saw this coming) ordering more, I just let them run out. Now I have to do this song and dance again. It is my own fault. Will I learn from my mistake and make sure I have a back-up bottle for when this time comes? God no. The one thing I refuse doing is learn from my mistakes. Especially when it comes to my mental health.

Speaking of, social media is such a bastard. At one moment it lifts me up and makes me happy, connects me with people… and then at the same time it rips my heart out. Logically I understand it is the algorithm and if I want to cease the endless flow of political bullshit I just have to make a new account or interact with something unrelated. However, I will not be starting a new account. Well… one visible to other people.

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