Reflecting on the Wheel

Life is cyclical, coming back around to the same story we saw before.  I remember the time that my husband and I were so poor that we would sit in the dark, covered in blankets (because blankets were free and heat was not) and watch basic cable.  Eventually it got to where we had to move in with my parents because I barely made above minimum wage, his business wasn’t taking off, and our credit card debt was so bad that even making the minimum payment would cause us to still go over limit and result in more fees.

Now, granted this isn’t the same.  I’m making more than enough.  I can pay my bills… and our house payment is lower than our rent ever was.  So that time before isn’t truly a good example of life being cyclical.  I guess the similarity lies in how I feel.  The panic… the nervous energy.  I’m also frightened that this path will lead us to the same spot as before, but who knows where life will take you.  It’s a cheesy line but I love it: “If you want to make God laugh make plans.”

My husband told me he was shutting down his office.  At first I panicked, I assumed he meant his business, but that was me being over dramatic and jumping to conclusions.  What he meant when he said he was “shutting down his office” is exactly that.  Just goes to show how man to man, man to woman, what have you, people interpret words and sentences differently. 

Where I see him moving back into the home office is a good idea, at the same time I always have.  He wanted to be a legit business and I can’t blame him for that.  And working out of your home doesn’t have that same image as driving up to an office complex. 

In reality, none of this really affects me.  It is all reflection of where we have been, where we have gone, and where we will go next.  I worry that we may end up in the dark again, but, even if that were the case, I can at least make our house payment whether he has a job or not.  I do that now.  Well, as long as I have a job.

P.S. I have given myself a challenge to write something everyday during the month of June.

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