I hate that I had to make my blog private. I did so because of the office politics that are current putting my husband under undue stress. However I wish I hadn’t, but I understand why it needs to be done for the time being. And it isn’t forever. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
In “going dark” it has revealed to me that I do enjoy the telling of my own tale. I like laying bare my secrets in a digital space and not caring who knows, as long as someone “listens.” My blog is kind of like that woman in the supermarket who starts telling the cashier clerk all about the drama between her sister and her mother because the checker happened to scan the apple she purchased.
This (and other things) has weighed heavily on my mind lately and my first instinct is to run to the blog and lay everything on the table. Yet, knowing it will just be solely for me has made it where I don’t care. Well, not that I don’t care, more than I don’t see the point if I’m the only one who would ever see it. I’m not writing for myself. I like to write so that other people can read what I wrote. Plus… I’m sick of my own fucking thoughts, let someone else take them for awhile.
The block will exist here and on twitter until my husband is either hired or fired from his current position. And in the mean time I just need to remind myself that I am doing this for his own safety and peace of mind.