I finally broke down and made a doctor appointment for my stomach pain. For the past, maybe, 6 months I have had this bizarrely intense pain on the left side of my stomach. It’s not ongoing. It only really hurts whenever I sleep on it for an extended time and roll over to the other side. When I do finally turn, the pain is so intense. But it is just for that single action. Otherwise I haven’t had anything else that would require a doctors appointment.

That is, until a few days ago.

I tried to eat “low carb.” What I repeatedly fail to understand is that this particular diet doesn’t work for me. I’m just not built for (or in the right headspace) to deeply deprive myself of a somewhat necessary component of my diet. Plus I love my sugar too much. I’m basically a humming bird in a human body.

After attempting this diet I got “the sads” and binge ate the entire day. I had McDonald’s for two of the meals and then ate dinner out later that night. Since then my stomach has been uncomfortable. As a result, I finally broke down and made an appointment.

I had hesitated for so long because honestly… I don’t have the time. And part of me has an assumption already in mind of what it could be or even mean. That I really don’t have the time for and not knowing means I don’t have to do anything for it. I hope I’m wrong, obviously, but the way my life has been going the last two years I wouldn’t put it past fate/god/life/my luck to fuck with me again.

Fingers crossed it’s just my flair for the overdramatics. We won’t know until midway through December.

PS I sometimes wonder if people think I’m making this shit up. Like… I’m doing it for attention.