Luck is for Fools

There is a lot of myself in today’s story.  There are those who have luck and those who do not.  I am in the not category.  I’m not where near the other.  If there was a spectrum from 1 to 10, 1 being the luckiest, and 10 being the opposite of that I would be  hard 9.  It’s just a matter of life.  Although, sometimes I tell myself (because of some gut feeling) that my luck just hasn’t come up.  And right now, why would I want to waste my pot of gold on an actual pot of precious metal coins than on landing a literary agent and selling my book. (They’re a package deal, by the way.  I’m talking to you fate.)

A Year of Writing Prompts by Brian A Klems and Zachary Petit
January 8
Treasure Awaits
“You receive a letter in the mail from an out-of-town relative asking you to drop everything and meet him in Boston ASAP. He doesn’t say why, but signs off on the letter with the phrase: “Treasure Awaits.””

The letter from my Uncle Bernard Frush came sealed with wax. Embossed into the red paraffin was the symbol of our family crest, a fish jumping from a grove of rushes. The writing on the front was beautifully written in the finest calligraphy I had ever seen, or probably ever would by a human hand. My uncle was always one for the dramatic.

“Who’s that from,” My wife asked.

I lifted the letter to show her, but before she could view the address she must have caught sight of the wax seal and pinpointed the sender.

I tore it open and began to read.

“So what does ‘ol Burns have to say,” she said.

She pulled a dish from the top rack of our faulty dishwasher and dried it with a towel.

I quickly scanned the letter written in the same hand as the envelope.

It was his usual weekly catch ups, informing me, his second favorite nephew after my cousin Brandon, of his recent travels. The man had chosen at the age of forty to go hiking across the United States. For what reason, I do not know. I guess he had had enough of suburbia and wanted freedom. Before trekking out on his journey he rid himself of the everyday trappings of normal life, cell phone, his house, furniture, clothes. Anything that wasn’t paper or transportable he ditched.

My mother tried to talk him out of it but could get nowhere. The one thing you could count on when Burns made up his made there was no changing it. Even if it was the wildest of ideas.

“Come on,” my wife said, “I’m dying of anticipation.”

“He’s just saying how well his trip is going and…”

It took me a moment for it to register but at the end of the letter he commanded me to go to Boston.

“He says that treasure awaits.” I dropped the letter, clutched in one hand, to my leg.

Michelle laughed.

“I’m sure it’s all of the life lessons he’s learned on his journey.

I turned to her, arching my eyebrow.

“How do you get that?”

“Thomas,” she said, grabbing another dish, “Be realistic. The man is insane. Who gives up everything they have-“

“What if it is actual treasure?”

Michelle stopped drying the dish.

“He set out for some reason. Maybe this was it?” I said.

“The man had a mid-life crisis. He has nothing left to live for. No job. No wife. No children.” She said, stowing the dish in the cupboard and closing it’s door. “That must be terribly lonely.”

“But think about it,” I said, rushing to the breakfast bar, “He’s always been obsessed with history and conspiracy theories.”

“Yes,” she said, “He never had a television because he was convinced that it was a tool of the government to brainwash us.”

“Well-“

“He’s not right, Thomas.”

I looked at the letter one more time.

Come immediately. Time is of the essence.

I read the sentence over and over, until it was burned into my vision. I looked up at Michelle and the words flickered across her face.

“You’re not going,” she said.

I Put the letter back in the envelope.

“Maybe-“

“Besides we don’t even have the money to buy a plane ticket right now.”

I nod, defeated. She’s right, of course. I’m not Uncle Berny. I have Michelle, a mortgage, a job, and children. There is no sense in taking off at the last moment.

The next evening she and I are cuddled up on our overstuffed sofa that has long lost it’s selling point, while the kids played hide-and-seek around us. Our old tube television is flickering as the National evening news with Brian Williams pipes up at the top of the hour. The main story told by the faces of my uncle and cousin holding a chest filled with large circular pieces of gold in a rotting chest. My jaw drops open and I turn to Michelle.

“Maybe he’ll split it with us?”

Right Wrongs Make it Right

This prompt was a tough one.  It took me more time than it should have to come up with a “coherent” story that wouldn’t require an exorbitant amount of explanation or plotting.  I’m actually rather proud of myself.  It’s not too bad.  Granted highly, HIGHLY, unlikely to ever happen, but that’s what makes it fiction.  Right?

A Year of Writing Prompts by Brian A Klems and Zachary Petit
January 7
High Time
“Write a story that takes place somewhere extremely high-space, an airplane, a tower-but that features two characters doing the lowest things for what they believe is a worthy cause.”

The earth fell away from the small two man airplane and turned into a quilt stretched out unevenly over the land. Ferris had studied the aerial night and day the past few months, studying landmarks to guide him on his journey. Sloshing noisily behind him was a concoction of his own making. It was a combination of pesticides one more potent than the last. Very soon he would drop it onto the largest pests of all, mankind.

The plot had hatched in the wee hours of the night, like all good ideas. At first he was hesitant and fearful to adopt his epiphany, but with each passing day he inundated himself with scientific studies of the harm man was doing to the earth. The sea levels were rising, the ice melting, and the climates were shifting from what they had been for millennia.

There were claims that this was the natural way of things. It was just the earth evolving into a new age as it had done ages ago when the earth cooled and it was an ice age. Regardless of their theories it was evident to Ferris that the statistics didn’t lie. The end was nigh if he did not do something about it.

For a moment he had contemplated a nuclear bomb, wiping out the major cities, but there was no easy way for him to even get a hold of that technology. If it was someone would have done it long ago. Ferris even contemplated getting someone to hack into the government mainframe and find out the launch codes. Yet again, he was dreaming bigger than he could actually achieve.

It wasn’t until one day, when he was driving down the San Joaquin Valley when he saw the agriculture plane, with it’s elongated pipe, pouring pestisides on some grapes, that it became crystal clear.

The only problem was the money. To buy a craft of that size it would take some hefty change and he wasn’t really rolling in it, while working at McDonald’s. It was good pay but not for taking down a blight on the earth. That’s when he came up with the idea of crowdfunding. The only question was, does he put his true purpose on the site or create a rosy fantasy? In the end he thought, no one would really believe he was building a weapon to exterminate human kind, so he put it up there. He figured, people would think it was a joke and donate for the laugh. Like the homeless that stand on the side of the road with the cardboard sign “let’s be honest, I just want beer.” In certain circumstances he knew people who deliberately gave the man change because of his humorous honesty.

Within two days of his scheduled end date he raised the money. Now, he just had to find a plane. Despite having nothing really to stimulate the mind, the San Joaquin Valley was the cradle of agriculture in California and many farmers were willing to sell an old plane to upgrade to a new one.

Equipped with a plane all that was left were the pesticides. Yet that was the easiest thing to acquire more than anything. Plus, spreading out his purchases over the course of the year raised no such suspicion. Although, just to cover his tracks, he created a fake agriculture company to buy the deadly chemicals.

Ferris wanted to go big for his first outing. He wanted to attack the largest of all the polluters in the nation and luckily it was just two hours south of home.

Los Angeles was a glimmering destroyer of the earth and the logical choice for destruction.

Ferris kept a steady altitude until he crossed over the Los Angeles National forest and when he got closer to la-la-land he began to descend. His mouth began to salivate as he thought of all the good he would do for the earth. If only he had gotten a group together and form a coalition to save the planet from ultimate destruction.

After this, he thought.

He descended dangerously low over north Hollywood where he pulled the lever and filtered the poison through the air. In time they would all pay for what they’ve done. The snooty low-lifes who call for action but fail to act themselves. They were hypocrites. He was doing something. He was making a difference.

He arched his way over toward Santa Monica. On this mid-July it would be an absolute guarantee that he would find sun worshippers at the beach. There he could claim so many lives for mother earth.

When the beige hem of the ocean came into view, with the people laying scattered like blisters he pulled the lever even further, pouring out as much as he could.

It was then that he realized the major flaw in his plan. His months of plotting had failed to realize that this would have to be a one-time thing. Soon he would run out of fuel. The likelihood of an airport allowing him to land was highly unlikely.

Panic ran through his body like ice in his veins.

I have to get home. He turned and pointed the propeller north, pouring the earth saving potion until every was spilled.

As his plane sailed gently over the mountains, guarding the valley a fighter jet screeched toward him, launching a missile and ending his flight in a cloud of black smoke.

Ambition Drought

A Year of Writing Prompts by Brian A. Klems & Zachary Petit
January 6
I will consider myself successful when…
“Finish this sentence: As a writer, I will consider myself successful when…”

This very questions has crossed my mind so many times over the years. When I was younger I used to think that I will be successful when I have a New York Time No. 1 bestseller. When you dream, you’re supposed to go big, right? No? Well, as time has gone on I’ve discovered how hard it is to just finish a novel. When I say finish I mean a first draft, followed by edit after edits, and with some final spit and polish. This thing should fucking gleam in the sunlight. That way when the agent opens it to read my manuscript they’re immediately blinded and I become their only client.

I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo a couple years. Only the first though did I actually try and succeed. I even spilled into December and finished it on the 6th. I was so very proud of myself. Now I’ve been pouring over it ever since. I finished that one at the tail end of 2009. Or maybe it was 2010… Regardless I have spent entirely too much time pondering the plot lines and if it’s good enough that I have written myself into a corner and fear taking a step out of it. I imagine that has happened to so many before me. I’m sure it’s what keeps others from even attempting at all. That’s just the nature of the beast and some artists are just not well equipped to handle the pressure that comes with trying to make a business out of their art.

At one time I thought success would be to get a book published. Then I lowered that bar to getting and agent… And at some point I settled for just finishing my book.

The infuriating thing is that I know I can do it. I can finish my book and submit it to agents. There is no doubt in my mind. I have the capability and drive to get me there. It’s just my inner critic, my doubt, my fear, that keeps me stationary.

Once a polished manuscript sits in my hands, only then, will I consider myself successful. It means I have pushed through my worst obstacle, myself.

Half-Assed but Witty. I think.

So… I already know what I’m going to write. I saw the prompt a couple hours ago when I had intended on writing (but didn’t of course) and have been mulling it over in my head ever since.  And what I came up with I am rather proud of my lazy self.  So, here it goes…

A Year of Writing Prompts by Brian A Klems & Zachary Petit
January 5
Power Outage
Storms have knocked out the power.  You find the flashlight and make shadow bunnies on the wall, but you can tell the kids are not amused.  So instead you decide to tell a scary story.  Create a story that would scare even the toughest of teenagers.

“Guess what kids,” Gary said, “I heard rumblings that a hacker has wormed his way into the power grid and this is permanent!”

Gary’stwo teenage sons, Ryan and Travis, pick themselves up off of the couch and head into the other room.

“Just you wait and see.”

Little did they know how right their father was, and four days without electricity, and no way to check their e-mail, facebook, twitter, instagram, or without the ability to text, their eyeballs bled out and they wasted away until their skin was taut across their bones.

As Gary laid his kids to the earth behind their suburban home, the air still thick with smoke, he said, “I told you, you sonsabitches.”